Practice Makes ?

I have been trying harder to live intenionaly and not let life just happen to me. Sometimes it seems easier to let things just happen and try to make decisions as things come. I always called this laid back and flexible. I am learning that being laid back has it's place and it's not super great for relationships with people and with God. Relationships take work. You need to think about them, communicate with one another, and practice discipline. Did I just say discipline? Oooo
For a year I went to a Bible based program to learn how to be a better follower of Christ, and I learned that it takes work. I have been re-reading a great book called Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner. Lauren was once an Orthodox Jew and is now a Christian. She writes this great book about 10 Jewish disciplines that the Christian church could learn from. In the introduction Lauren says "Madeline L'Engle once linkened spiritual practice to piano etudes: You do not necessarily enjoy the etudes- you want to skip right ahead to the sonatas and concertos-but if you don't work throught the etudes you will arrive at the sonatas and not know what to do. So, too, with the spiritual like It's not all about mountaintops. Mostly its about training so that you'll know the mountaintops for what it is when you get there."
It is encouraging to know that my desert times are trainging me for greater things. I am in training now, God is speaking to me and without practicing listening I won't get very far. I love that there are so many different ways to hear God. Sometimes it's frustrating because in times of need you want him to yell it out. But he speaks in many ways and you have to practice listening in all of those ways. I suggest reading Mudhouse Sabbath it is so informative and inspirational as well.
Let me know how you are practicing and any tips you have to hearing God are greatly appreciated.

Stupid ice breaker question that would be asked at a youth party

I was watching Grey's Anatomy last night cause it's my favorite show and there was this cute little girl who was in the er for all kinds of bad scrapes and bruises. Of course they think that her foster parents were abusing her, but that would be to obvious for such a great show like Grey's. It turns out the girl can't feel pain, she belives she has a super power and challenges kids to beat her up, and that's why she has so many injuries. Not feeling pain seems like a great super power but it almost kills her in the end. I feel pain every day, physical pain that is. I hate it and am as always wanting a way out, and when I heard that this was a real thing, where you can have a bad chromosone and not feel pain, I momentarily wished for it. But pain is only a way that our body tells us something is wrong, and without it well things could get ugly. It's good to remember that.
Anyway I wasn't trying to get deep here, so let's back up, if you could have any super power what would it be and why? There are so many to choose from, oh and you can be original too. I am not sure what I would pick. I tend to think that I would like to be like Violet from the Incredibles. It would be nice to be invisible when you want and the whole power field thing is super cool. Anyway what power would you want? and why?

Dressed in Red

Nestled in the memory of you
yearning for more
safe in the distance
tightly bound to framiliar

night sweats wrapped in
restless leg syndrome
drives me closer to
telling you

I must meet the place
where empty is welcomed
where clear is a beginning
waiting is hope

inching toward surrender
putting on the red dress
allowing my beauty to rest
on my own skin

you will know my love
when I know my own power
my own force
awakened

All Things Donald Miller

If you know me at all, you will know that I love all things created by Donald Miller. Who is Donald Miller you may ask? Only the best Christian author representing my generation of 30 something today. I fell in love with his first major novel Blue Like Jazz sometime last year and kept his book a best seller at the Borders I was working at because I bought a copy for anyone I thought might read it. It was powerful to me. I love Donald's writing so much that I just read his newest book which was written to men without fathers. I am not a man and I have a great father, but I am faithful and therefore I read To Own A Dragon. And the most interesting part of the book is that a girl with a great father got a ton out of this book.
I would have to say the most powerful part of the book is when Don is talking about his mentor John that he lived with. John had a young daughter who would prefer to eat chicken nuggets and French fries for every meal but because John and his wife had some sense and knew the child needed nutrients and more from food then chicken nuggets and French fries could give a growing child they insisted the child eat other foods. The little girl throws a temper tantrum and does not understand that her father is looking out for her and screams something to the extent of "why are you doing this to me?" Okay that is me. I have been screaming at God for a while "why are you doing this to me?" What seems painful is really him protecting me and knowing what is best. And sometimes we can't see pain for good, usually not till afterward. But this is where faith comes in and I have to believe that God is watching over me and knows more than me and knows what is good for me. Trust, oh that ugly word that I fight with often.
Thank you Donald for making me laugh very hard and also showing me a different perspective on God. Oh and Donald and some of his writer friends have this AWESOME online magazine that you have to check out. The articles and reviews are super great. I have enjoyed ever article that I have read so far. Burnside Writers Collective
Check it out. Let me know what you think. Oh and if you haven't read Blue Like Jazz , READ IT! And if you know me and need to borrow a copy I have some to loan.

Cutest Baby Ever!

Words don't do any justice, Maya is the cutest baby ever!

Great Revelation Escaped

Have you ever while reading a book thought wow that is an amazing point this author is putting across and you think about it for at least two days and you tell yourself "self I need to journal about this" or now I say "self I need to blog about this" but you don't want to lose momentum with the book so you keep reading and when you finish the book you can't remember any of the details that brought you great revelation. I remember the revelation but not the point that drove me to it. So now I must go back over it and reread it. I will blog about it soon I promise. I just think this is such a Jessica kind of thing, to read something and think of it as like changing and not remember what made me change my life 4 days later. Hmmmm
(oh and I also realize that the first sentence of this blog is abnormally long, and one may run out of breath if reading out loud, so please read it quietly)

Firstgiving - Detroit AIDS Walk

This year I am walking the Detroit Aids Walk on September 17th. Steppin Out is a non-profit organization commited to supporting the community in AIDS prevention and education. I am very excited about being a part of this great organization. If you would like to sponsor me you can either check out this webiste
Firstgiving - Detroit Aids Walk

or if you would like to sponsor me by cash or check please e-mail me. Thank you for your support towards fighting AIDS.