Dressed in Red

Nestled in the memory of you
yearning for more
safe in the distance
tightly bound to framiliar

night sweats wrapped in
restless leg syndrome
drives me closer to
telling you

I must meet the place
where empty is welcomed
where clear is a beginning
waiting is hope

inching toward surrender
putting on the red dress
allowing my beauty to rest
on my own skin

you will know my love
when I know my own power
my own force
awakened

All Things Donald Miller

If you know me at all, you will know that I love all things created by Donald Miller. Who is Donald Miller you may ask? Only the best Christian author representing my generation of 30 something today. I fell in love with his first major novel Blue Like Jazz sometime last year and kept his book a best seller at the Borders I was working at because I bought a copy for anyone I thought might read it. It was powerful to me. I love Donald's writing so much that I just read his newest book which was written to men without fathers. I am not a man and I have a great father, but I am faithful and therefore I read To Own A Dragon. And the most interesting part of the book is that a girl with a great father got a ton out of this book.
I would have to say the most powerful part of the book is when Don is talking about his mentor John that he lived with. John had a young daughter who would prefer to eat chicken nuggets and French fries for every meal but because John and his wife had some sense and knew the child needed nutrients and more from food then chicken nuggets and French fries could give a growing child they insisted the child eat other foods. The little girl throws a temper tantrum and does not understand that her father is looking out for her and screams something to the extent of "why are you doing this to me?" Okay that is me. I have been screaming at God for a while "why are you doing this to me?" What seems painful is really him protecting me and knowing what is best. And sometimes we can't see pain for good, usually not till afterward. But this is where faith comes in and I have to believe that God is watching over me and knows more than me and knows what is good for me. Trust, oh that ugly word that I fight with often.
Thank you Donald for making me laugh very hard and also showing me a different perspective on God. Oh and Donald and some of his writer friends have this AWESOME online magazine that you have to check out. The articles and reviews are super great. I have enjoyed ever article that I have read so far. Burnside Writers Collective
Check it out. Let me know what you think. Oh and if you haven't read Blue Like Jazz , READ IT! And if you know me and need to borrow a copy I have some to loan.

Cutest Baby Ever!

Words don't do any justice, Maya is the cutest baby ever!

Great Revelation Escaped

Have you ever while reading a book thought wow that is an amazing point this author is putting across and you think about it for at least two days and you tell yourself "self I need to journal about this" or now I say "self I need to blog about this" but you don't want to lose momentum with the book so you keep reading and when you finish the book you can't remember any of the details that brought you great revelation. I remember the revelation but not the point that drove me to it. So now I must go back over it and reread it. I will blog about it soon I promise. I just think this is such a Jessica kind of thing, to read something and think of it as like changing and not remember what made me change my life 4 days later. Hmmmm
(oh and I also realize that the first sentence of this blog is abnormally long, and one may run out of breath if reading out loud, so please read it quietly)