Living honestly

I promised God that as I walked on this new challenging journey, I would not frost everything over with "I am
Good". I promised to be honest. That sounds like something I should already be doing, right? I should be saying right, yes I live honestly and openly. But it's not true. When people ask how I am, no matter what, I usually answer "I'm good". Close friends ask and I say, "I'm good". People are comfortable with good, they are not so comfortable with "well I'm in excruciating daily pain, I don't sleep and I'm depressed. But I promised God that I wouldn't hide behind being comfortable and allowing others to be comfortable. And we all know God does not mind that we are not comfortable.
Which reminds me of a church billboard I saw a few weeks ago. It said "This year, try Jesus."
I read that like it was an advertisement in front of Macy's, this year try DNKY jeans.
Jesus isn't something you "try". If he were a pair of Jeans he would be a size too small and you would feel the instant need to go on a diet and purge things you love out of your life, or he would be two sizes too big, and you would instantly see that you are way too small too fill these pants. So after you "try" on Jesus you would then put him back on the rack for the pretty people.
I promised to be honest, I hate it most of the time. Most of the time I would rather just smile and not let you know that I'm a mess. I would rather not watch you try to fix my mess. But I'm wearing the tight jeans and I'm letting all of junk overflow out of them and I am learning to smile and grin as people look at me with that face of " oh poor girl"
And I'm sure Jesus is smiling.