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Sunday, March 04, 2007

Dreaming on my own

I am a day dreamer. Always have been. I mean I have worked really hard to try to " live in the moment" as they say, but I don't think I can do that all of the time. I mean when I am with people I enjoy the moment. But when I am at work or driving or laying in my bed half awake I am in another world. I am always thinking. I had a friend once tell me that is not normal to always be thinking. I can't imagine not always thinking.
God has been working out a lot of stuff in me lately and today I felt like he was talking to me about day dreaming. I usually day dream these great plans for my life. They change all the time. Most of the time they come from an unsatisfied place in my life and I am searching for something esle. I don't think that place is wrong. But the thing is, I have taken control over my dreaming. I have these ideas of what my life should look like and I never include or seek the dreams of what God wants for my life. There is a lot of fear in that. Seeking God for what he has for your life. Sometimes I think he doesn't have a plan for my life, this is it. And that scares me too. It all comes down to trust.
What does one do about this? Well I guess I begin to surrender. I would be totally lying if I said that I was going to give it all up to God, cause I know this isn't all up to me and I have to stop taking control of it and ask God to show me himself and his dreams for me.

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