Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!
Here we are on Christmas Eve exchanging gits and sharing the joy of giving and receiving.
I hope all of you had a Merry Christmas.
I wish you the best for the New Year!
Jessica

Happy Halloween!

I was the Fairy Godmother for Halloween. I couldn't think of any other costume that would fit my personality any better.
The best part was the white hair, and I now know why humans don't have wings, they are really hard to cook with.

Seasons of Life?

It's been an interesting month to say the least. Wow. Life can be so weird at times. I think I always thought of life like seasons. You are always hearing people saying, this season will pass, seasons of our lives, and so forth. I guess when I think of that I think that hard times will be followed by good, or growing times, followed by reaping the fruits. I am starting to think that is not necessarily true. Oh I can see the faces now, with one eyebrow tilted up and the opposite angle of lip tilted down. You know, the "what are talking about look."
Well this is what I am talking about. I don't think my life has ever really went that way, you know in seasons. I mean I have had my hard times, and my really great times, but for some reason most of the time it all happens simultaneously. I guess I had started to think that when life gets hard that is it is going to be hard for a while and then it's going to be really good times to make up for the hard times. Not so. But this isn't a bad thing really, I know it sounds like a downer right now. But here is the thing, life is always challenging. For instance I have a chronic back problem, meaning I will most likely have it for the rest of my life unless the Lord decides to heal me. There is always pain, the extent varies. It gets really hard and then it gets better and then it gets hard and so on. Right now I am in one of those hard spells. I used to wait for the spells to go away, and think after this I am going to have something great happen. While I was waiting I was missing all the great stuff going on around me. Now is different. This is a hard time in life physically, and my work situation was really hard for a long time. But now that is much better, and I am going to this great church and making great friends. My family is all here, and there are so many great things happening on a daily basis. So I am learning that maybe there really aren't seasons, but more of a marriage.
I know that there is always going to be some kind of challenge, it is never going to go away, not even for a season, but there are also going to be great times in the midst. And the lesson is to keep looking and appreciating the great stuff, and learn from the hard stuff all at the same time.

Thankful

I was reminded this week of Sunday night services at church when I was growing up. They were always the same. There was a long worship time, where we sang praises to the Lord and then it was testimonial time. That is a time where people say all the great things God has done for them over the week. During this time people would thank the community for praying for them and tell how God worked. This service was mostly older people, older people who truly believed that God listened to prayer and that God answered prayer. They believed because they saw the fruits of their prayers every week, they were reminded by the stories every week. When I was thinking about this time, I wondered how my life and my view of God would change if I constantly thanked him for the things he is doing in my life. If I thanked the community that supports me and prays for me constantly. I know that I tend to think about how things could be better, and how God could fix things in my life, and sometimes I bypass the answered prayers.
So today I want to start with thanking God for my church and my new community. I moved to Nashville In Feb 2004, because I had given up on having a community of friends who beleived in me and supported me in Christ here in Michigan. I knew there was a great cummunity waiting for me there, so I went. When I was wrestling with the idea of moving back to Michigan I felt like I had to pick community or family. I prayed and cried and prayed some more. I ended up choosing family. But God was faithful to my obedience. I now have both an amazing family and community. I also have a long distance community in Nashville who are all still speaking in my life in amazing ways. I am truly blessed. It feels great to have found a home where my family is and where there are people who want to see Jesus working in me. Thank you Royal Oak Vinyard Church and the Mission Home Group. I love you all. Thank you to all my Nashville friends as well.
The next thing I am thankful for is God's patience. The last 5 years of my life have been very challenging. After my Papa died 2 years I kind of gave up on God. I had been working for years on trusting him with every aspect of my life. That was challenging in so many ways. When I moved to Nashville to take part of a school I had little knowledge of, that started the walk of faith, bling walk of faith that is. And things got harder when I had 3 surgeries that same year. It was hard to trust and know that God had a big plan for my life when I was in a back brace and laid up in bed for 6 months. But I saw his hand in my life. But when my grandpa died that shook me hard. It was like someone took the plank out of my feet that I was standing on. Slowly I have been giving a little here and a little there to God. But just this last week I felt like the Lord was saying "It's now time Jessica, I want it all." I am there too, I feel ready. I know that there are going to be more bumps in the road but anyone who can be that patient with me and and that gentle with me is worth giving it all over too. I am not sure what it "all" is at this point. But I have quite a few ideas, thanks to him. I am thankful that God is patient and so are so many of his people who have praying for this moment for me.
I am thankful for my amazing family too. I mentioned that I moved back from lovely Nashville to be with them. My parents are fun and warm and super great to me. They are two of my closest friends. They are the parents that other people want, and that is so cool, cause my parents love to adpot others into their family as well, officially and unofficially. :) I am so thankful that my brother and my sister-n- law moved back also. They are the greatest friends and brother and sister ever. We really love being with each other. And last but not least, I am thankful for my little sister who I would love to see more, but have a feeling that God is about to do something big for our relationship and her life. I am excited to see what that is.
So there it is. God is good.

Trevor

something wild and a little untamed
yet sometimes timid
unsure of others
yet sure of you

always listening and always hearing
remembering and knowing
encouraging the differences
to be a part of me
not a hidden part of me

how did you become sure
confident in there being control
and you not having to
giving over all of you
all of the time

illness has quieted me
somewhere deep
yet you seem awake
alert and rested in him
I long for your strength
I seek the place you rest in

Well I was hoping this blog would be an outlet for my creative juices, but it seems like I am out of those lately. Instead, as of late I have been using it to communicate and sometimes whine about my life. I don't see all of you readers, well most you readers on a regular basis, so I guess normal communication with a lack of creativeness is okay. But please know I do want to work on my writing and hopefully my creative drought will end soon. It may be a lack of motivation and oh, time.
Anyway, physically things suck. My back is acting up and as usual the dr.s are baffled. That means test and more test. Why can't I have a normal person's body? I am praying that I don't need surgery.
I am going to be an Aunt in March and that is exciting. It will be super cool. My brother and sister-n-law are great people and are going to be great parents.
My social life is getting better. I am trying a little harder to get more involved at church and with new people. It is really hard with my crazy schedule. I feel really hopeful about it all though. There are some great people I have been hanging out with lately and one of them is kind of cute, (yes a boy) and super funny. We shall see.
So I would love to go into more detail about life in general but I am super tired and need to go to sleep.

Hopeful

Do you ever feel like something new and exciting is just around the corner? Well I rarely ever feel this way. I am usually am pretty joyful, happy girl, but I think I try to stay content with the present. I don't usually feel expectant for anything unless I know it's coming. Well this is a totally new feeling for me. I have this feeling that something great is coming to me soon. I know that is vague, but the feeling is vague. I just know something is coming. It is so fun to feel like this, hope bubbling around me. But if anyone of you reading this knows me, you know I am also structured and like to have a plan for most things. So as you can imagine this not knowing, but knowing can drive me a little nuts. I mean how do you plan for the unknown. And there lies the big lesson for me. It's a little freeing to not be able to plan for the unknown, I can't call anyone, I can't schedule it, I can't write it on my daily calendar, I just have to let it come. I do feel ready though. Isn't that odd. How can I be ready without planning? As you can see I think God is really showing me how in control he is. I am thankful that he has given me this "warning" feeling, cause it is totally helping in the midst of hardship right now. I like having something to look forward to, even if I have no clue what it is.